OCT 30 @ 9:29PM - OMEGA GIGA
Ina-Ina Train Ride
In the year 2025, Canada elected a new government. The Nasod party was granted the opportunity to form a government with a Prime Minister as its head. This one was Ninomae Ina’nis, a decedent of the Ancient Ones who themselves are from the region of Mycrostopia in the realm of Henir. Under her rule, Canada rose to world prominence, boasting the strongest institutions in all human history–it was indeed a dominion. The following entry recounts her time in the metropolis of Kroniiland.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––
The office of the Prime Minister is a nice one, especially now that I’ve fashioned it with a Combine teleporter. I get direct access to all citadels across the country, which means I can pretty much go anywhere. I mention this because when I was invited to speak in Kroniiland (in British Columbia), I couldn’t say no. Besides, the Premier’s celebrating the city’s tenth-year anniversary, so I had to go. I stepped into the teleporter and landed in Hourhand Central Station, as I commanded the computer to do, and I ordered a station guard to escort me on my way to the Premier’s location. Seeing her was a sight for sore eyes after the last couple question periods. The one I sought, Ouro Kronii, was standing by a member of Civil Protection, or as we call it, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and it seemed to me that she was conversing deeply about–what was it–a “one chip challenge.” Honestly, I have no idea what it was all about, but it didn’t sound fun.
When I finally reached her, it was all purpose cultural in Nasod speak. It’s the stuff we specimens like to call “distinctly Canadian” after spreading it around for a couple years, but that which we all know we just made up during our time singing and dancing at Takodachi Tower somewhere in the bowels of Toronto (a building I own, by the way; it’s one of the seven wonders). I couldn’t help but greet her with all the banality of “good morning, afternoon, evening,” upon which she responded with “kroniichiwa.” It’s rather nice, eh? I think so, but here's the kicker: she brought me Tim Horton’s with the most WAHnderful cookie! Anyways, I reminded her about why I showed up, and we proceeded to exit the station for that good ole speech I gave that Wednesday–short and sweet, like tea at three in the morning.
So, what’s the “beeg” idea? Why have I written all this in a neat, little PDA of sorts? Stop asking questions and read closely. Being Prime Minister has brought its toll on me, and my body knows that all too well. Catch my drift? I needed me a vacation, a nice trip to the Northwest Passage to meet the cute demon guard dogs, the Abyssgards, or, as they are most known in B.C., FUWAMOCO (in all-caps). And since the occasion called for it, and the Premier, in her nature, had spare time, what a better way to get there than by train with her on a line extending far enough north to actually get there. So, that’s what we did. Yep, that’s what we did, and you won’t believe who I found on that train!
Embarking on this eventually eventful journey between the snowy mountain crevices, I decided to walk through all the carts up to the engine. Kronii wasn’t with me because she had something to take care of, which definitely had nothing to do with that chip she was talking about earlier. Now, I don’t have a lot of time, so I’m gonna make this next part short. When I got to the front of the train, a strange looking girl was at the helm, like a rat or monkey thing. She had a tail! I mean, seriously, a full-on tail. I asked her, “Are you the conductor?” Okay, to be fair, I didn’t know what the difference between “conductor” and “operator” was until then. She said, “What? I don’t sell tickets–I run this joint!” Well, I get it now. She continued, “But wait, aren’t you THE Prime Minister–Ninomae Ina’nis of Canada?” to which I agreed. Then, something changed about her, as though she had realized something profound in my presence. “Do you know who I am,” she asked. I couldn’t find a link to her being. By the book, you’d say there was a “miscount detected.” “Unfortunately, I don’t” was all I could muster. At the moment, she seemed all the sadder, or, perhaps, quite relieved? She sighed, “I suppose that’s fine. The name’s Dooby, eh?” I acknowledged her name despite it sounding strange, and now that I think about it, there’s probably something more to it. Indeed, thinking back, she looked somewhat familiar, like one of my other sisters, besides Kronii and the dogs.
To this day, I don’t know what to make of it, but it was a nice trip, and FUWAMOCO treated me to the greatest cup of hot cocoa and some karaoke under the finest lights–you’d rename the country to Borealia. In other news, Ame’s been gone for about a month! WAH!
